#Sorry #Grateful : Giving Thanks in the Digital Age Without Being a Dick

We all know the true meaning of Thanksgiving: Overeating and genocide remembrance.

Oh no, sorry, I meant that other thing that sometimes makes me uncomfortable: Gratitude.

Or, to be more specific, public displays of gratitude. PDG, if you will.

(Oh, you won’t? Moving right along then…)

By PDG, I don’t mean the practice going around the dinner table and saying what you’re grateful for.  I think that’s actually a lovely tradition. (Although, you KNOW Aunt Sharron is going to pull out “health and family,” so make sure to have a second piece prepared.)

We all know that gratitude is a good thing.

In fact, neuroscientists have been telling us for years that practicing gratitude is one of the chemical keys to happiness.

It’s science.

However, the hysterical Twitter personality/badass author AnnoyingActorFriend has been telling us for years that tweeting #grateful #blessed and #ItsAllHappening are the social media keys to assholery.

It’s science.

So how can we adopt an attitude of gratitude without also adopting the depiction of a dick…tion?

(I wish I had a helpful infographic for you here, but I took the weekend off, so you’ll have to make do with a list instead.)

Before hitting POST on a gratitude filled status, ask yourself three things:

1. Would this message be more meaningful if it were private? If you’re directing your gratitude towards a specific person, maybe it would be better to just give them a phone call. Whenever I see a post from someone gushing about how they have the “best mommy in the world!!!!” I can’t help but think that post is probably not really about Mom. It seems more like a post saying, “LOOK WHAT A GOOD SON/DAUGHTER I AM!!!!”
2. Do I hope this post will elicit jealousy? Yeeeeeah, it’s probably not gratitude then.  Gratitude is not generally a vindictive concept.  You’re probably dealing with a humble-brag at this point. Go write it in your journal. #NobodyNeedsToKnow
3. Am I using hashtags to express my #Gratitude? Doesn’t matter if your gratitude is authentic. You’re probably going to look like an asshole. Go read #SoBlessed: the Annoying Actor Friend’s Guide to Werking in Show Business and amend your post.

That’s all I got, you crazy turkeys! Hope you all had a restful weekend. Go tell someone you love how grateful you are for them!

Privately.

Don’t be #Sorry about how you were #Grateful. Follow these tips and you’ll be in good #Company!

#RepPun 

Sara Glancy is an NYC actor and the founder of Audition Rep Matchmaker, a service that helps match actors with the audition materials that will book them jobs.

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Originally published on saraglancy.wordpress.com on Nov 30th, 2015.  Photo by Jessica Osber.